To Whom It May Concern:
It has come to our attention
that a few copies of the Texas edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped
outside Texas. If you have one of the Texas editions, you may need some help
understanding the commands. The Texas edition may be recognized by looking at the
It reads Winders 98
with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It
is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse,
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup
Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as
the Durn Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4-Wheel
Drive and floppies are 'them little ole plastic disc thangs'.
Instead of an error message you
get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
Cancel = hell no
Reset = aww shoot
No = naaaaa
Find = hunt-fer it
Go to = over yonder
Back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
Stop = ternit off
Start = crank it up
Settings = sittins
Programs = stuff that does
Documents = stuff I done done
Also note that Winders
98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
We regret any inconvenience it
may have caused if you received a copy of the Texas edition. You may return it to
Microsoft for a replacement version.