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To Whom It May Concern:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Texas.  If you have one of the Texas editions, you may need some help understanding the commands.  The Texas edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.

It reads Winders 98 with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag.  It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.  Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Durn Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4-Wheel Drive and floppies are 'them little ole plastic disc thangs'.

Other Features:

Instead of an error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.

OK = ats aww-right

Cancel = hell no

Reset = aww shoot

No = naaaaa

Find = hunt-fer it

Go to = over yonder

Back = back yonder

help = hep me out here

Stop = ternit off

Start = crank it up

Settings = sittins

Programs = stuff that does stuff

Documents = stuff I done done

Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Texas edition.  You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.


Microsoft Corporation

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