The doors are
The call to
worship is "Ya'll come on in!"
about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand
requests to be buried in his 4-wheel drive truck because, "I ain't never been in a
hole it couldn't get me out of."
In the annual
stewardship drive there is at least one pledge of "two calves".
Never in its
100-year history has one of its pastors had to buy any meat or vegetables.
When it rains,
regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship service.
directory doesn't have last names.
The pastor wears
of one family sit together in worship every Sunday.
The only time
people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer and then only so their
neighbors can't leave them a bag of squash.
There is no such
thing as a "secret" sin.
There is a
special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
You miss worship
one Sunday morning and by 2 o'clock that afternoon you have had a dozen phone calls
inquiring about your health.
High notes on
the organ set dogs in the parking lot in the back of pickups to howling.
when Jesus fed the 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
It's not Heaven
but you can see Heaven from here.
The final words
of the benediction are, "Ya'll come on back now, ya hear!"