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Man's Best Friend and

Rules He Lives By

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I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

dogchase.gif (4039 bytes)  The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the 'fridge and then whine.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. wetdog.gif (2864 bytes)

I will not eat the cats' food...before or after they eat it. dogcat.gif (3022 bytes)

sickdog.gif (4561 bytes) I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. rolldog.gif (2175 bytes)

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

Litter box "crunchies" are not food.

dogpoop.gif (2945 bytes) I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. paildog.gif (5478 bytes)

I will not wake Mommie up by sticking my cold, wet nose on any part of her body.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

reddog.gif (3578 bytes) I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I'm hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on the television. yikesdog.gif (3333 bytes)

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel.   Neither are my Mom and Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

dogbite.gif (3945 bytes) I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in the car for Mom's drivers license and car registration.

These are the rules and I abide by them.  See ya'll later.....

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